Taken from California Child Abduction Task Force- Impact of Family Child Abduction by Georgia K. Hilgeman, M.A., Retired Executive Director and Founder, Vanished Children’s Alliance 8-2-01
Family abduction lacks society’s recognition of its devastating and long--term impact. The public’s reaction to family abduction declares that the child is “fine.” This is because he or she is with the other parent. They may believe the left behind parent must have deserved to have the child removed or that the matter is “just” a custody dispute between two battling parents.
Families where abduction has occurred may have experienced pre--stressors. Pre--stressors refer to the stress in these people’s lives before their children were abducted. When a child is abducted, the incredibly severe stress is then added to past stresses. Some typical pre--stressors might include: domestic violence, separation, divorce, child abuse, neglect, loss of a job or housing and financial insecurities. Couple the pre--stressors with the trauma of child abduction and you have parents and children in distress.
Most of these children were taken by people who have difficulty with conventional boundaries and rules. Evidence clearly shows that the majority of abducted children are taken by family members.
Why do family members take children? Is it for love?
Usually not, the typical motivation for family abduction is power, control, and revenge. These characteristics are also prevalent in domestic violence cases. In fact, family abduction is really a form of family violence.
Some abductors may believe they are rescuing the child, but rarely do they resort to legal approaches for resolution. Some abductors are so narcissistic they do not have the ability to view their children as separate entities from themselves. These abductors believe since they hate the other parent, the child should as well. Sometimes abductors feel disenfranchised and have a culturally different perspective regarding child rearing and parenting.
Most child development experts agree that personality is formed prior to the age of six. Therefore, the abduction of a young child will have significant influence on whom he or she becomes.
During the child’s upbringing, hopes, wishes, fears and attitudes of the significant people around the child will more or less be adopted. The abductor influences a child’s attitude toward themselves, other people, and the world in general.
The left--behind family members, which include the parent(s), siblings, stepparents, step and half siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and others, will suffer as well.
Initially the left--behind family might experience shock and disbelief. They may have a rude awaking when the criminal justice response to a reported missing child is not all they might have expected when, from their point of view their child is “kidnapped.”
Convincing the authorities that the child might be in danger when taken by a family member is sometimes impossible, and usually leads to more anger, much of it turned inward, which contributes to depression.
Many people react with physical symptoms, which include sleep and eating disorders, headaches, and stomach aches. Many try to avoid their pain through the abuse of legal and illegal substances.
While we might wish for happy endings with reunited families living happily ever after, the truth is that the lives of abducted children and their families are forever changed. See, Kidnapping is Child Abuse.